When my heart hurts

I don't know if it is because i am a dancer, but I find when my heart hurts the only thing that I really can do is listen to music that ministers to my soul. The music then leads me into movement that causes a canvas of different colors, not just constructed from music, but from splatters of raw emotions, and and fears that only movement can explain. I think that we have yet to really create a language that truly can communicate the honesty of the condition of the heart. So i dance.

The Call

"It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Till it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Till they're before your eyes
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye"


God has been using this song to minister to my heart these last few days. It is full of faith and God brings it to my lips many times during my day. I thought I'd share the words with you and maybe if you ask me, I'll sing it for you sometime:)

Love,
birdie

It's the little things

My heart is heavy tonight. The wait feels so long.

I step out of my truck and I hear a single night hawk singing it's song as it flies over my head.

Flickering lights catch my eyes and I realize one of my neighbors is having a bonfire.

Off to my left, I hear fireworks...people celebrating the fact that it's Spring no doubt.

I walk to my front door and see a K-Mart shopping cart sitting out in our courtyard....so random that it makes me smile.

And then there's Abe's silhouette as he stands in our front window, wiggling at me, happy for the fact that I'm coming home.

It really is the little things, the little ways that God reminds me I'm living. And in each one of those ways, I feel His love for me. And sometimes, they're so small that if I'm not really looking, I'll never see them.

Thank You for giving me eyes to see and ears to hear, Father.

I love you too.

Love,
birdie

Showered by flower petals

Every morning, when we leave to go to work, Jenny and I feel like fairy princesses or new brides as we are showered with petals from the trees in our front courtyard.
It is a feast for the eyes as well as a balm to our hearts that can only come from the loving hand of our God and Father.

I have to say, God, that You put any man on earth to shame because the way You love us....well, let's just say...You hung the moon:)

"For you, my darling."

"Why, thank You, my Lord!"


Love,
birdie

"What would you do to see just one person saved?"

Jenny asked me this question last night.

My speech ceased and I sat down on a stool, put my head in my hands, and began to cry.

You see, Jenny's point was that it is well and good to go on mission trips and love on people around the world. BUT....what if there is just one person here in Minnesota God means for me to love into the Kingdom? And I'm not talking about love in the world's sense of the word. I mean love as in God's powerful, life-changing love.

And there is one person here. I have seen them and know them by name. I have dreams about them and cry out for them every day in prayer. But what if God is asking for more? He alone must be my Guide.

So...what would I do? Anything, my Lord!


Love,
birdie

I apologize that I have been the silent partner in this blog. There are so many excuses I could give for being so preoccupied with life, but none really compare. The truth is I have not been given words. God is changing and morphing my life to better fit his reality. While I am being tossed in the waves it is hard to spit out words that could possibly do him justice.

That all for now.

But the journey is just beginning :)

love,
*jenny

Made it to the wedding

Josiah and Kaiti get married. A lovely day for a wedding.



My little friend, Jenna Berry, got to try her hand at photography on my camera. I think she did an excellent job!



This time, my Bubbie got to meet Tom and take him for a test drive.



After witnessing so much pain in the lives of my loved ones back in Missouri, God totally poured His joy back into my heart by the sheer beauty of my drive back to Minnesota.


Love,
birdie